by
Obododimma Oha
The interesting text, which we see below, was shared by a friend and
colleague on WhatsApp, and it very
effectively transported me many years back to childhood.
Children nowadays don't even know that in our days you could be beaten for any of the following reasons:
1. Crying after being beaten.
2. Not crying after being beaten.
3. Crying without being beaten.
4. Standing while the elders are seated.
5. Sitting while the elders are standing.
6. Walking around aimlessly where the elders are seated.
7. Not being around when the elders are seated.
8. Replying an elder.
9. Not replying an elder.
10. Singing after being admonished.
11. Not greeting visitors.
12. Eating food prepared for visitors.
13. Crying to go with visitors when they are leaving.
14. Refusing to eat.
15. Eating too much.
16. Coming back home after sunset.
17. Eating at the neighbour's home.
18. Generally being moody.
19. Generally being too excited.
20. Fighting with your age mate and losing.
21. Fighting with your age mate and winning.
22. Eating too slowly.
23. Eating too quickly.
24. Eating too much.
25. Not finishing your food.
26. Finishing your food and scraping your plate.
27. Eating and talking.
28. Sleeping while the elders had already woken up.
29. Looking at visitors while they are eating.
30. Stumbling and falling when walking.
31. Looking at an elder eyeball to eyeball.
32. When an elder is talking to you and you blink.
33. When an elder is talking to you and you stare and not blink.
34. When you look at an elder through the corner of your eye.
35. When your mates are playing street football and you join them.
36. When your mates are playing and you don’t join them.
37. When you don't wash your dish after eating
38. When you wash your dish improperly
39. When you almost break your dish
40. When you break your dish
41. When you bite your nails.
42. When you bath too quickly.
43. When you take too long to bath.
44. When you’re beaten in school for misbehaving.
45. When a car almost knocks you down.
46. When a car knocks you down and you don’t die!
Some of these reasons for beating a child may appear farfetched today but they sure did happen and they were the norms or unwritten rules of behavior that shaped the adults of today.
Among our initial reaction is just to laugh. Yes; we are justified in laughing
at the funny practices in which doing something and not doing the same are a
cause for corporal punishment. The consequence is clear: as a child who faces
this kind of situation, one is in a dilemma and is confused. One does not know
what to do that would not attract punishment! So, one does nothing. But that
may attract another punishment!
If one is beaten, one is expected to cry naturally. But that is exposure
and a complaint. To whom is one complaining? So, one wants the whole town to
know that one has been beaten? A subtle appeal for sympathy, pity? So, one is
punished again for "wanting" to make the punishment known!
And if one does not cry? Aha! The "offence" may be called
"ịgba ere"or "ịnyị ahụ" (Trying to spite the punisher by
deliberately showing that the beating is nothing! Or, you may think of the "offence" as wanting to stand your ground) So, one is beaten again,
even harder, to make sure that one FEELS it. One is properly beaten, beaten
harder you may say: "with a bone!"
Although it is #2 that features beating directly in the text, one is borrowing
it and what it says to characterize
childhood in some backyard societies as a long experience in being beaten and
being disadvantaged. Being made subordinate, a non-human even, a
less-privileged, a nonentity. That demands that the one so "beaten"
should really weep, should lament.
Imagine being called a thief or accused of wanting to be a thief, simply
because one is salivating for a chunk of meat or an egg. That reminds me of how
those of us children from African countryside marveled when we saw children
from cities drinking a bottle of Mirinda or Fanta (all alone!) or a loaf of
bread! We marveled at the idea that these "spoilt" children were
taking these things courageously and openly (when the bottle of Mirinda should
have been for adults or at least should have been diluted and little cup given
to them. Same for the bread. A little tear (not even a slice) would do. So, we
had being underlings as the very norm of childhood! The idea is that the
underling cannot enjoy certain things or at least should wait. That was the
idea of growing up "good."
Being beaten also meant that, as children, as "good" children, we
should expect our parents to waste money and buy toys for us. We should make
our own toys. At least, that showed our skill, that we had some skills. Little
artists, we drew pictures of cars and houses and roads on the ground, and
barricaded the drawings. As children, we made our toys from stems of cocoyam,
bamboo, sticks. Hey, that bamboo car going down the road with its engine in my
mouth is from my autocompany. I built it and I own it. Now, If you want to
borrow it to run an errand, be careful in driving it! It took hours and
ingenuity to make.
With my car, my jeep, going down the road, you cannot take my childhood and its fun
away from me. They are forever with me. I am not BEATEN, even if you beat me.
Okay, consider this: some marabouts would cane and cane you if you make
mistakes in your recitation. So, that is learning? After that, you would be
given plates and asked to go and beg in the streets. "Don't lie about
whatever you get, otherwise when you die (which is certain), you will go to
hellfire. Think of the terrible burns!" So, you go and start begging, in
the rain and sun, battling the flies and braving the mad traffic.
Today, in some countries in Africa, have the treatments meted out to
children changed much? Are children not raped or mishandled in some contexts?
Are children not scolded for eating meat or eggs, under the argument that it
could lead them to grow up and become thieves? Are children not asked to
surrender their seats on buses (in public transport) and made to sit in such
terrible places as the engines of the buses until disembarkation in some
societies in Africa? That of losing one's seat or being given an
"attachment," or even being made to sit on the engine of the bus, is
just too much. Children are human, biko. Human beings need to be treated as human beings.
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