By
Obododimma Oha
I would have responded promptly to your Facebook update concerning the misuse of "sir" by many Nigerians. Sincerely, if this is the least of Nigerian misdemeanors in the use of a language designed to remind us about an eternal British presence in the country, then, it is no crime. But it is necessary for Nigerians to watch the lips of other users of English, since they are not alone in the world. Another concern is that, as a teacher of English, I am also worried about this misuse. However, I have, to my shame, accepted the instutionalisation of error. If many people, including respected individuals in authority, do what is clearly wrong, what choice do I have? Let me tell you this: if I attend our town union meetings where minutes of meetings are written in very BAD English, I don't try to correct the errors, otherwise the meeting won't end and the secretary would be annoyed with me. I let dogs that choose to take a nap to do so so that they won't get up and bite me!
Dear Prof., you seem to think that the use of "sir" may be linked to an attempt to play out dishonesty in discourse. You may be right there. But, note that this is not just a sign of fraudulence. It has become normal and many are led into uttering it. If the addressee is not clever enough to identify this sign, then, whose fault? Surviving in this new world requires some cleverness, in fact, learning from tortoise the trickster!
Some Nigerians may be fraudulent, but they show respect a lot and they want the addressee to recognize that they are showing respect. So, sir, Prof., don't be worried or offended, sir. It is typical of Nigerians. Don't be offended, sir.
Seriously, those "oyibo" people are confusing. They say "sir" is for knights, some say it is a mark of respect for all males, some say this and some say that. Which is which? Honestly, they are confused and they are confusing us!
Dear Prof., na oyibo cause am! They should be steady, if they want Nigerian users of" sir" to be steady. Nothing dey there!
Nigerians don't even think that misuse of language, plagiarism, etc is a big deal. Is it not just language? And imagine, ordinary "sir." Prof. it seems you like breaking the coconut with your head! Please, see my armpit. It has no hair!
Anyway, one may be safe. Oga Ochonu is addressing "Young Nigerians." It is possible that some young Nigerians tried to chance him a little with "sir" and Oga Moses, with his Nigerian cleverness resisted it. Later, he took to Facebook because they really injured him! Sorry, sir!
But, young Nigerians did not wake up and start saying it, or emerge from the womb with it on their lips. They heard it from adults. They ate it along with eba and akpụ, and are only bringing out the finished product. So, sir, the injury is deep, very deep. How am I sure that it is not the nonsense I have teaching them that has caused this!
So, sir, when you mention "young Nigerians," I become uncomfortable. Maybe you are actually looking for me and are going the indirect way. You can see that I am sweating profusely.
This is my humble reply. I hope it does not contain one typical Nigerian expression you are going to write about!
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