The Wild Scavenging Dogs and the Rotten Teeth of Herbivorous Goats

By

Obododimma Oha


As an Igbo-speaking person, whenever I hear the Igbo proverb, “Nkịta richaa nsi, eze eree ewu” (After dogs have eaten faeces, the teeth of goats decay instead) I feel that it somewhat conveys a sense of injustice, among other things. Why would the teeth of herbivorous goats decay? Goats are not the scavengers that consumed human faeces. Dogs going wild did so, and should suffer a dental problem on account of that. Wetin concern the goat? It is enough cultural punishment to heap foolishness on it! Must it continue to be the lamb of God who wipes away the sins of others, or to bear the punishment others deserve for their actions?

Yes, one knows that scavenging dogs are wise and even though they do not have time to enter a washroom and brush their teeth, they endeavour to lick their teeth and their lips frequently. Goats in the shed keep gourmandizing leaves and neither brush their teeth nor lick their lips afterwards. They just keep munching, even chewing what they have chewed before, in the name of chewing the cud, until they end up  with rotten teeth! Real stupid goats! Now you are the lamb of God that takes away the sins of others! You don’t even know that they could be very ungrateful; they have no memory! And won’t remember that you died for them. Died for whom? You better jump down in anger from that cross!

Oh, you are talking of servitude! Of deliverance and all that! Wise up, man! Don’t take on yourself the atrocities of the wandering dog. Don’t stink on his behalf. Imagine, he eats the shit and its repercussion is on you. That is the height of ewuness, the height of a horned foolishness!

Imagine, Nkita richaa nsị, eze eree ewu!

Wetin concern you with shit? You were in the goatshed, tied, almost forgotten. You were not the scavenger. You were eating the leaves they cared to provide and chewing your cud. Wetin concern you with shit?

They will remember you and your teeth when they feel like eating pepper soup and would march you to the slaughter. Why this additional victimhood? Now, you are twice victimized, even in language! The goat is a goat is a goat! Check their favourite metaphor for foolishness in the culture. Is it not the goat? When they want to abuse somebody, they say, “You are a goat!”

Where can one find a positive use of ewu? Yes, a goat is a goat is a goat! Now that they are preparing for elections, you can hear them call those with bad affiliations “ewu.” Bad choice is ewu choice or ewu syndrome! The point is this: being an ewu, whether literally or metaphorically, is already regrettable. The world wants you to know that you were a great mistake in creation!

It is only in a Cameroonian story, retold by Loretto Todd in Some Day Been Dey that, to one’s great surprise, ewuness is portrayed positively and ironically. Lion had fallen into a pit dug for large animals by hunters. A monkey was passing by, jumping from branch to branch. Then Lion called out to Monkey, “My brother, help me. I have been in this pit for three days. The hunters will soon come here and kill me. Help your brother, please.” Monkey said, “No. You! ọ tagbue o, o rie! Great devourer! If I help you now, you would eat me as you did to my mother. You of all people.” Lion said: “No; I am no longer a devourer. I have changed. Help your brother.” Monkey thought about this and how other animals would blame him, saying he is hard-hearted and unforgiving. He was in a dilemma between personal experience of pain of loss and community blame. Then, his mind was made up to take the risk. He lowered his long tail into the pit and Lion held it and jumped out. But release the tail of the helper, Lion would not. Instead he said: “How do you think I would see tasty meat and leave it. Look; check my teeth. Are they not sharp enough? What does a lion live on if not meat? In fact, I have been in this goddam pit for three good days, dying of hunger! How would I see a good breakfast and miss it?” A goat was passing at a distance and heard the argument. He came nearer and asked, “What is that kinsmen. They told the story. Goat said: “You know I am only a goat. Very stupid and foolish. This serious event needs to be reversed, played back, for me to understand and pass my judgment.” Lion and Monkey thought about this logic and so agreed. Lion jumped into the pit like lightning, warning: “But you must do  something about this ewuness of yours and try to understand fast.”

The goat moved some distance and said: “Monkey my brother, are you still there? Go to the farthest branch. Allow this idiot to taste the horrible death waiting for him!” Monkey got the message and flew like the wind to another tree branch and sped off, thanking its Maker for the wisdom of ewuness!

Very soon, the hunters arrived and clubbed Lion to death in the pit.

So, goat watch your teeth. Don’t take someone else’s misdemeanour upon yourself. Even use ewuness against every ungrateful lion.


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