Being One with My Father (Talking with My Father II)

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Obododimma Oha



A friend read “Talking with My Father” and wanted the blog article longer. I promised a second installment. And here  comes the installment: it is still about spending some time talking with my father. But this one is unique in its own way: it is about traveling a distance with my father, or rather traveling with and as my father. Is this not surprising? For me it is symbolic. Even though my father had to travel to places, stay away from home because he was a chief and had to attend several meetings, I got to realise that, instead of regretting his absence from home, I should try to insert myself in his struggles, especially his being available to others to solve their problems as co-travelers in this world. But, most importantly, since I was him, I was with him, from Eze’s court to the meetings of ozo-titled men, we were both travelling chiefs! My father and I always traveled together, traveled as one, talked, and reflected. In that way, we did not just maintain closeness everyday; I was comfortable,relaxed, that he was there as me.

One incident about our travelling together in practical terms is this experience of going together to church, which I would like to relate. Although my father had a large family being a polygamist, I desired so much to be around him. Perhaps other siblings did too. But one thing I did not want to miss was preparing while he was preparing for church, making sure I would wash the back of my ears where he would surely look, and being dead ready to climb the carriage of his bicycle anytime he asked us, “Who is ready and wants to go with me?”

Perched on the carriage with my legs swinging, I would look left and right at the bushes and the  trees. I was amazed that, as he pedaled and we sped to church, the bushes and the trees were running back, in the opposite direction, as if they stubbornly did not want to go to church to pray and show off their new clothes! The trees must be stubborn! They ran back fast and this amazed me. So, I quickly asked my father (who was supposed to know everything). “Why are the trees running away from church?” I asked him. “Running away? Who told you that?” Wait, you will see them standing there when we get back and the ones in the church compound sing Halleluya too. They don’t run away from it.” “But I can see them running back. What is pursuing them? Police?” Father saw through the lens of my childhood thinking and laughed. “Ok,” he said. “They would be forced to rethink their behaviour later before the end of the day. You just watch.” But I kept thinking about what was chasing the trees, because I could see them running desperately in the opposite direction!

When the church service was over and my father greeted some important people (indeed, I made sure I came out in time and was waiting for him near his bicycle to finish with these greetings that also serviced crucial relationships), I was set to climb the bicycle carriage again, to observe the desperate race of the trees. When we started off homewards, I noticed that even the trees in the church premises ran backwards. Perhaps they wanted to make sure other trees did not get to Heaven before they did. I was even more surprised to see the very trees that ran in the opposite direction when we were coming, now running back, in fact, towards the church! What were they looking for? Did they want to compete with other trees in the church premises in going to meet God? Perhaps, they had a separate service and were running because they were late! Poor late-comers! I kept thinking about this unfortunate lateness and the desperate race until I fell asleep and could have put a foot into the bicycle spokes had I not woken up suddenly. And the trees were still running in the opposite direction, minding their own business!

Another important context of being with my father was when he was working, mending the wall of palm-frond round our premises and humming a traditional war song or masquerade tune. My siblings and I had the task of carrying the palm-fronds to him; actually driving the fronds like cars to where he was working. This driving really excited me a lot. The driver had to be on the one side (left-hand steering!), while the car engine was in the mouth. When the driver was accelerating or revving the engine, the mouth did all. Our hands were working, but our mouths were, too. But the greatest excitement for me were the songs that my father was singing. I was in his classroom, but he did not know. I was his dedicated student, memorizing the songs. I don’t know whether other siblings did this, too. Yes; the songs. They got me! They animated me. Don’t be surprised to find them in my consciousness many decades later, especially in Oral Literature course in English. In a way, one had to sing these masquerade songs for the trees late for church and running desperately because they had no bicycle. Further, the masquerade and war songs facilitated another travel. Indeed, with them, I travelled with my father to other contexts other than the work, but my other siblings did not know. They did not see us fly like the trees, leaving our working hands there in our backyard!

Father was my model, a great sage and courageous fellow. Now, he has traveled away from the trees and the songs (and also away from himself ). But I know that he he is still around running a relay race. He is both the spectator and runner in the race in which I am holding the baton, ready to run faster than the trees.

  

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