By
Obododimma Oha
You may have professors who claim to know everything, keep dirty beard, and who often dream away when you are talking with them. But we had "mansas" (which you prefer to call "masters") who knew every member of the class by name, who loved and punished us whenever we were naughty, who told us stories as part of their lessons, and who had one special thing to be remembered for. Every one of our "mansas" was special and left a signature on our minds after teaching us.
Was it that Nwabugwu who almost stayed as a life catechist in the nearby parish and who would be caning you and laughing as if he was enjoying the pain? Or that very short man called Ibigwe who also tried to make up what he did not have in height with the twang of his masquerade cane? Nwabugwu and Ibigwe were special kind of school terrorists and every school child tried not to fall into their traps.
Mansa Nwabugwu would cane you and while you are writhing in pain, he would laugh in an unearthly manner and proclaim: "Ndị mmụọ anyụịla gị ahụrụ n'anya" ("The spirits have farted into your eyes"). Or he would say without any sympathy : "Onye ohi ụtara ọka" ("A thief of corn meal"). We saw him simply as a hardened sadist and tried to avoid him.
Aah, harsh Mansa Ibigwè with his sports bicycle. To say that Mansa Ibigwe was harsh was to state the obvious. I think he was always shouting at people, maybe because he was short and wanted his voice to be "tall", " instead of being shortened again by the other. But his pupils enjoyed his teaching, for he did not want to fall short of anything. Mansa Ibigwe. Don't just mess with him, for he will mess you up!
Should one forget the hardworking Mansa John who would shift from making fun of the lazy learner to actually carrying a cane and running after a lousy player in the soccer pitch. Let that lousy player kick the football anyhow and Mansa John's cane would cheer him up anyhow from behind! Didn't Mansa John form the reputation of coming to the home of any pupil who had serially failed to come to school and would ask other pupils to carry that pupil on the head and be singing all the way back to school?
Of course, there was Mansa Uba with his funny bald head who had a special gift of nasal sounds from God. Mansa Uba was highly placed and respected as an accomplished teacher, but the pupils knew also that his seriousness was a cover for meanness and tried to behave well whenever he was around. But when he was not there, his school became one for scandal and idiocy.
It is proper to give honor to whom it is due, and so leaving out Mansa Nwabueze is just a crime, in fact, banditry. Unlike Mansa Nwabugwu, Mansa Nwabueze would be caning you and you would be laughing. Was that still punishment? Anyway, he ended up correcting and showing that he was not correcting because he hated the pupil but because he loved the pupil. What a unique teacher! But, above all, one cannot forget Mansa Nwabueze for being desirably humorous and couching every "hard" task in a humorous garb. He was clearly the champion and hero for many pupils.
If it is true that pupils leave the classrooms, not just with the contents of our lessons but also with the teacher's attitude, what impressions of me do they now have, since I am also a teacher? Infallible potentate? Humorous friend? Sadist? Pretender? Bloated idiot?
As I remember some of our elementary school "mansas," I know that because I stepped into their shoes, I am also under observation and my own narrative may be a thriller. As I am pointing at others, some of folded fingers are also pointing at me.
One is now a mansa, inheriting the chalkboard and all its troubles. Mansa Oha! Doesn't that sound cute? At one secondary school where one once taught, my cane was known, branded, and dreaded. Just like Ibigwè, one had to ask the cane to deal with all those who thought that size was my disadvantage. The cane, Akalịkpọ, was one's AK-47 and means of making people fall in line.
But, sincerely, one was lucky. My teachers were great and taught me things. My mansas loved me and there was no need for a competition. Does one compete with oneself? Since they made me and wanted me to join in replacing them, I just had to listen to the lessons. It didn't matter if Mansa John was playing for Chelsea himself, but it was clear that he wanted the pupil to know what he was kicking and why. Those mansas put their lives in their teaching. They are worth remembering.
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