By
Obododimma Oha
Moses Ebe Ochonu published a Facebook update:
Aspire to perspire to inspire to expire to desire. Nigerians, I bow for una sense of humor, abeg. We need to laugh our trauma away
Moses Ebe Ochonu again, posted this update on Facebook. I had blogged about his update on Nigerian euphemism. Now, he has posted a Facebook update on a rhyme I have heard before in Nigeria from pastors. One thing about some Nigerian pastors is that they try to impress their listeners with rhetoric. They can speak through their noses to suggest that they are special or are like the White person or are been-tos. They can use rare proverbs that are regarded as nuggets of wisdom and are respected in many parts of Africa and which many admire, just like parables that can engage attention. They may choose to be poetic, using interesting tropes like parallelism and rhyme scheme. In fact, they may decide to rap like hip hop stars and impress youths. So, I was not surprised when Ochonu picked the familiar example.
These are the words found to rhyme and which are used in doing things to the audience :
Aspire
Perspire
Inspire
Expire
Desire
But these are actually false rhymes which are forced to keep phonological company. Their rhyme is not natural.
The use of the trope of rhyming is again deceitful and shallow. One is not surprised at this false academic spirit. A proper learning of rhyme scheme in a poetry class would have helped. It is not just a matter of similar endings for words! What meaning is the speaker making or is it just to voice out the sounds of words?
Now, let me turn to Moses. If you find these kinds of new poets in Nigeria, do not be scandalized. Things are happening and a new academic spirit is only waking up. Don't expire my desire, after all, you need to perspire over what I aspire!
Ochonu is only beginning to listen and will hear things. Was it not because the lizard had become tired of hearing thing that it shunned the company of Keleke the wingless flying insect and chose to go elsewhere to perforated its ears? It had got tired of listening to terrible lies. But Ochonu is not a lizard and will not perforate his ears yet.
Indeed, one mother would give birth to various siblings, but their ways and journey of life would differ. That poem that Ochonu read is only a variety of language for some. Just as he speaks elite pidgin in the update. He couldn't even continue in pidgin, although we know he would give excuses about the diversity of the Facebook readership. Didn't he know about that diversity when switching to Nigerian pidgin?
Even some Nigerianisms could be noticed also. What is that Americana doing with "I bow"? Don't we sense what he is up to?
If he is identifying with us through discourse, we don't want that gesture. We also bow. Are we not following, while you lead, even to International Space Station? He "bows" for shallowness and deceit? He "bows" to stupid embellishment? That he "bows" is itself annoying! Don't we know what he means? Don't we understand the rhetoric of our speech again? So, Ochonu, please, don't rub it in. It is very painful.
If you like, begin to conspire to acquire millions for spirits who inspire to expire. But do not "bow."
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