A Well-packaged Insult

By

Obododimma Oha

There was a day in one corner in Africa I behaved as if I was carrying the whole world on my head and could put it down any time to alter the contents. I had just come into the country from another part of Africa where one behaved as if programmed to do good things. So, I still carried this fine-tuning in my head. I was driving my old model Volvo car behind one jeep. Meters away was Environmental Authority group removing refuse. Someone in the jeep rolled down the glass window and dropped the wrapping of akara or moi moi. I could not control myself. I did as if to overtake; drove up and asked the jeep driver to tell the person to come down and pick the trash. Instead, I got well-packaged insult from the jeep. Served me right. Was the city space my father's courtyard? How do I expect the staff of Environmental Authority to get paid at the end of the month? They looked at my car and laughed. No wonder! So, this old papa is still in this world? What a pest! So, I piped low and drove off. Next time, I should mind my business and not think that everywhere is everywhere and could be changed.

There is one word that came up in the narrative: "programmed." That is, designed ahead of time." Are people really designed ahead of time to behave in a particular way? No. Human are not machines, not formatted to behave in a particular way. They have to choose to go this way or that way. If that is formatting, well they are free. That's the idea, and to be ready for the consequences.

Programming is the choice to be here or there. We design ourselves by wanting to be like others. In case, someone may redesign his or her life by living somewhere for a while. But when that person changes location, another designing of way of life becomes necessary.

It's a matter of choice if a society drops akara or moi moi wraps anywhere anyhow, after all Environmental Sanitation Authority is close by to pick them and to justify their monthly pay. It's also a matter of choice if after eating a candy a person does not drop the wrapping but holds it until he sees a trash can. The consequences of both are coming.

Let us look at this situation very critically.

There was this Jeep and there was this very old Volvo car. A jeep is metaphorically referred to in Igbo discourse as "ọkwụ ọtọ ekele eze" ("He that stands while greeting the king"). To stand up to greet the king is to be arrogant, to insult the king. That means that the occupant of the Volvo car had violated the difference and level. To have the courage to talk to the jeep was considered insulting. Even if someone in the jeep had to shit! It was important for the person in the old Volvo to know that the jeep had the right to empty cans on the road.

Then, the questions: "Was he the only person on the road that saw it? What was he trying to prove?" These questions could have infuriated occupants of the jeep.

Moreover, it was a public place. He was on his own. Hardly would anybody interfere to save him. He was alone, terribly alone and stupid.

This public place is also no person's private property. In addition, the cleaning of the road had been paid for! So, I wanted the cleaners to be unemployed?

There was also this annoying personal angle: commanding him. Imagine this stranger commanding him. Did he think it was a parade ground of the armed forces?

Then, the embarrassment caused in drawing attention to them! In public! Who knows whether photographs have been taken already and will get to Facebook!

And this:

"Oh, he wants to show off.  And have us as the bad guys. Damn him! Yankee!"

You see. I was very lucky to escape. They could have put me in the jeep and could have driven off. To reach me a lesson.

Thank God, for helping me to escape.