By
Obododimma Oha
My father was fond of a statement about being visited by what one does not like. The statement says:
Ihe onye na-asọ bụ ihe na-abịara ya (What one detests is what likes coming one's way)
How can one continue to be visited by what one detests if the design is not to continue to make one sad, if not miserable? Maybe the host is also oriented to what the terrible visitor does not like!
A celebrated crime fighter getting an offspring who is a known criminal. A man of God who has a wayward offspring whose evil ways are known in town. A seasoned teacher whose offspring is a blockhead. A nation of many well-read people being ruled by a poorly educated person. And so on. Great disaster. Great misfortune. These are contexts from where one would have expected shining examples. But what one gets is the opposite!
The main issue is that one is considering how to receive an unwanted visitor. That visitor has not been invited, which means that the host is facing a serious risk. Ordinarily, one would think that this teaches a lesson or two about tolerance. But beyond that, we find that the visitor may be planning big on how to deal with the host. And being close is already an advantage.
It is an expression of despair and disappointment to say that what one detests likes coming one's way. But what the next and urgent thing is the question: "What is to be done about it, to prevent or deal with it?
Ordinarily, being visited by what one detests tests our strength. That could amount to exposure. That means showing others what one has planned to confront it. But it also challenges one. It calls for thinking about the problem, the task before us!
Life could be boring if it doesn't present tasks to be solved. One is sure of some tasks. That means as justification of living.
Obviously, one is not happy confronting what one does not like. But instead of being demoralised and miserable, one is fired, angry.
If what we do not like likes coming our way, it all means that we should always be prepared. That is, we should be prepared for what we are not prepared. What an irony!
But the message is clear. We should always get ready for the worst. Does that sound pessimistic? Not really. Just being realistic. Prepare for the worst case scenario.
But such is life. We need the positive pole to work with the negative, for us to have energy. This is matter of what one does not like visiting or being present.
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